we still breathe.

Second Wind.

Stare at the moon

Looking for answers

Only to find that there are none.

.

Stare at the sun

Look for a way out

Only to find that there is none.

.

Feeling trapped, feeling stuck, we never do get much sleep

We never rest easy, we never breathe

Feeling beaten, feeling fucked, maybe we just never tried hard enough

Scream so loud, but no one hears

.

They just turn a deaf ear

For the sake of their own ease

Who would ever lend a hand?

And who would ever show empathy?

.

I’ve got a chip on my shoulder

But I’ve been waiting patiently

For a second wind

Tighter Teeth

I’ve grown to have a natural doubt that anything will work out

I’m so afraid of growing up to be that man that has nothing at all

nothing but memories of all the things I’ve lost

Before I ever had a chance to hold them very close at all

And unrealized half-dreams

Hidden deep beneath scar tissue and tightly clenched teeth

.

And where do I go from here, I’ve lost everything

I’ve ever loved, I’ve ever loved, I’ve ever held dear

Do I pick up the pieces and hope it won’t collapse again

Is it just a game of jenga or a game of chance until you win

Is it possible to beat this fucking loneliness

That chases and rapes me

Whenever I do find sunlight

.

It drags me back into the dark

Leaves me feeling naked and raw

Like a tree with no bark

So exposed

Defenseless from lifes inherent cold 

And it gets to me

Everything just gets to me here

It gets all just ends up

Buried deep

Beneath scar tissue

And tighter teeth.

.

I’m fine, but that’s all I am

A mediocre existence just isn’t enough for me

If there’s more that I could be, I need to find it

There has to be something out there, waiting

.

I won’t settle for less

It’s this emptiness

Inherent in my search for something more permanent

.

I can feel it my bones

And it’s in every drop of blood

Will this sinking feeling ever leave my body

Will I ever feel like more than something in place of

.

Am I the only one

Who wants to break out of

This shallow existence

And create something more

I’ve been trying so hard

For so fucking long

Dealt with so much disappointment

But despite it all, I have nothing to show for

.

I wont be content with meaningless

Giving all and finding nothing

How long can this go on

Before I finally break down and can’t get back up

Apology

I know I can’t just breeze back in 

After what I did

And expect the same trust

And expect a warm welcome

.

But I just want you to know

I take full responsibility

I won’t make excuses

All I can say is I’m sorry

.

Give me a chance to make things right

I know I turned my back

I didn’t mean to drop you on yours

I had my focus on myself

I was selfish

.

It isn’t something that I’m happy with

It’s my biggest regret

Give me a chance to right my wrongs

Don’t let this lovelessness persist

.

All I want is to hold you close

And never have to let go

Let me pick your heart up off the floor

And Put it back where it belongs

.

Lower your defences

And let me back in, is all I ask

Maybe it’s too much, but I won’t let you down again

.

Lower your defences

And let me pick your heart up off the floor

And put it back where it belongs

I won’t let you down again.

Hypothetical

Do you ever look down on yourself

And expect to see something else

I’ve never felt anything but this

Never felt quite right in my skin

.

It’s like I should be living a thousand lives

So much to accomplish, so little time

So instead it all just fucking goes to waste

I’m just a hypothetical of all the people I should be

.

But in reality, I’m fucking worthless

Like everyone else, my accomplishments amount to shit

My aspirations all suffocated

From lack of motivation

And my excuse; it just takes patience

.

Is it patience or cowardice

Is it virtue or vice

Am I meant for anyof this

Or am I just rolling dice

.

Does it matter at all

Could it be any other way

Isn’t it true that

We all end up the same

Moonlit

I think that was the greatest two weeks of my life

Sad to say, you didn’t stay

Sad to say, you stole away

You stared at me

Like I was a ghost in front of you

Haunting

.

But this isn’t that story, and that’s not who I am

You misunderstood terribly, I gave to you a part of me

That isn’t something done lightly

That’s not something I do lightly

.

I didn’t hear a single fucking word

From you

Not even the courtesy of telling me that you heard

Or knew

A thing that I was trying to say

No use

Just shrug it off like it was nothing

.

But it was everything to me

I don’t take anything lightly

You threw it away

You misjudged me

.

Or maybe it was I who had you figured all wrong

From a couple moonlit nights and the reading of a palm

Maybe there was nothing and it was all in my head

It wouldn’t be the first time I’m left hanging by a thread

.

Does anyone ever mean a fucking word they said?

Is anybody genuine enough to lift this heart of lead?

I will look down the mouth of a gun

And climb naked up the coldest mountain

Just to meet you there

Just to see you at the end of possibility

I know this is meant for me

This is the life I’m meant to lead

Even if I never win at all

Even if I stay this mierable

I’ll stay true to who I am inside

And that will always be enough for me

I won’t change myself to be happy

If it’s not real, cause I’ll always be real

I won’t let anything change who I am

I’ll keep striving, keep fighting, keep suffering

And I will feel everything

Never hide from pain if you know it has a reason

Embrace who you are and don’t fall victim

To the book of lies that they’ll tell you

About how to live and how to get through

What I Knew Then.

If I know now what I knew then

Then maybe there’s still a chance to end

This fucking war inside my head

My heart is torn and my soul is bent

/

I’ll find a way

/

I’ll always find a way

To learn from my mistakes

To make the best of this life

And find the positives for my own sake

/

No you can’t tell me who I am

You can’t tell me who I should be

I’m figuring it out for myself, 

The one thing that only I can see

/

There is something in my head

And there is something in my heart

It weighs me down but I know it’s worth saving,

Don’t leave me here like the last one left me.

Act.

I watched all you do and all you say

Fall apart right in front of me

You try to bring me down but you’ve got no tact

I can see right through your fucking act

/

You’re a spineless and negative piece of shit

One of these days you’re gonna be hit 

By the reality, that you’ve wasted all your time

Dwelling and wallowing, but never really trying

/

It’ll get you no where

But it seems that’s where you want to go

You condemn all of the things you don’t allready know

The aspects of life that have substance and meaning

You cast them away like they could never mean anything

/

You perpetuate hate and so it’s all you’ll ever feel

The weight you project on your shoulders isn’t fucking real

I won’t be tricked and won’t be brought down

I’ll overcome your negativity and never wear a frown

/

Every day is a battle, but my mind is my own

You shrink in self pity, but I have grown

With positivity, and a mind in my control

I create my world, my life, my soul.